Helping someone with depression

Depression can affect mood, energy, sleep, concentration, appetite and interest in ordinary activities. A person may withdraw, seem irritable or struggle with tasks that once felt manageable. These changes are symptoms, not a character flaw or a choice. Depression can present with fatigue, difficulty concentrating, feeling anxious or disrupted sleep; related information may help you recognise what your loved one is experiencing.

Choose a calm moment and say what you have noticed, such as, ‘You seem exhausted and less like yourself; how are you managing?’ Listen more than you speak. Avoid telling them to cheer up or comparing their situation with someone else’s. Offer one concrete task: prepare food, accompany them to an appointment, or help organise a gentle routine. Encourage a GP or mental-health appointment, while respecting their choices. Keep contact regular, even if replies are brief, and look after your own limits too.

Ask directly and calmly whether they are thinking about suicide, self-harm or feeling unable to stay safe. Asking does not create these thoughts. If there is immediate danger, stay with them, remove obvious means if you can do so safely, and contact local emergency services. Urgent assessment is also appropriate when they cannot eat, drink or care for themselves, or when severe confusion or agitation appears.

What changes should prompt an urgent review? Which treatments and support options fit their symptoms? How can family members help without taking over? What should we do if they refuse care or mention self-harm?