What should you know about my partner has no sex drive?

Desire can be affected by stress, low mood, tiredness, pain during sex, relationship tension, pregnancy or postpartum changes, medicines, alcohol and health conditions. Perimenopause and menopause can alter hormones, sleep and comfort. Genitourinary syndrome of menopause may cause dryness, burning, urinary symptoms or pain that makes sexual activity less appealing.

Low desire is a symptom, not a character judgment or proof that attraction has ended. The person experiencing it should decide what support they want, and consent remains central to every sexual interaction.

Choose a calm moment and use observations rather than accusations: ask whether anything feels uncomfortable, stressful or different. Remove pressure for sex and make room for affection that both people want. Encourage a medical appointment if pain, dryness, mood changes, medication effects or menopausal symptoms are present.

A clinician may discuss lubricants, vaginal treatments, mental health support, relationship counselling or hormone-related options. Testosterone therapy for women is a specialist decision and is not appropriate for every person with low desire.

Arrange medical care for persistent pain, bleeding after sex, new vaginal or urinary symptoms, marked mood change, or a sudden change after starting a medicine. Seek immediate help if there is coercion, fear, violence or a concern about immediate safety.

Could pain, dryness, mood, sleep, hormones or a medicine be affecting desire? What treatments could improve comfort? Would counselling help us communicate? Is hormone treatment suitable given my medical history?